morning, awake since four, dont know what i was thinking. hey, school starts in five hours. i better get up and hang out on youtube, because that will really get me going for the first day back.

bravo mary. bravo.

A little throw back to the tender age of twenty one. Emergence.

My old friend
I am mourning
My fox who has tamed me
Where have you been?

An interesting experiment with one of my old arch enemies, charcoal. Maybe it's not so bad after all, this devious medium. Maybe.

I made this with dry pastels, the first night of holidays, two months ago. It was before my school feedback interview, when I was feeling pretty dismal, and down on my efforts. Add a bottle of wine, drank in front of the mirror, listening to terrible music involving lots of wailing women.

Turns out I did ok and passed my classes.

Since then I reworked it so much it's become barely recognizable. Thought it was wrecked, but now I'm thinking I'll seal it as an underlayer and then paint another mezface over it.

Despite the challenging emotional associations drifting through the image, I like it anyway. Initially, self portraits were daunting things. Starting to enjoy the process much more. Hopefully I can salvage the energy put into this, and make another decent piece. Still a little disappointed it no longer exists in this form though.

It's hitting home. Semester 2 starts monday. It would be nice if I felt refreshed, energized and ready to commit to school. Haven't used the time off to stabilize my art and my intention. Instead I just kind of seeped through the floorboards into that space I know too well, where I forget I was ever a student to begin with.
Eat food, hang out with cats, drink drink drink, bemoan the conditions of existence and smoke up, Thumbing my nose at the gods.

I have however enjoyed being able to work intimately, outside the realm of deadline and schedule.

This is a detail from a drawing in progress. Not sure how this one came to be, it's quite dark. I think it's a painfully honest, unsettling image. When a session unfolds leaving me feeling shaky I know it's hit home. Sometimes the world just overwhelms.

 

There's going to be a lot more colour, shadows creeping in from the right, and then maybe acrylic washes in a couple different reds, over her body. Trying to loosen up, let myself experiment and stop being so precious over every little thing I create.

                                                                          Mantle

Some more studio photography 

.

Radiohead "All I Need"

Cant stop listening to this, beautiful track, beautiful album, excellent companion whilst working.

Studio Photography, with the very patient and co-operative Vlad. Really like the diversity between images, and how each one holds an entirely different space. Starting to clue on to the possibilities of photography as a medium. I thought it was a kind of detached practice, but I reckon there's just a flow I have to get into,  programme the camera into my brain, alongside the other systems I use to draw or paint. Something like that...

A very dark photograph of a perspective drawing, and my introduction to metal tipped quill pens.

This is a favourite from a photogram session. I developed the paper through a set of  my spinal x rays.

I think they're almost beautiful. They disturb me a little, But I keep looking for patterns, strange hazy shapes and colours. Makes me feel less alienated by the condition. And it's wierdly attractive having them around the house, interacting with these images outside their usual hiding place, the big important manilla envelope of woe.

Ere's an ammonite fossil. Observational drawing makes me hurt.

These are some progress photos of my first attempt painting a self portrait. It is acrylic, on a thick watercolor paper, taped to the mirror which I sat in front of for two days.

Everybody tells me I look miserable.
I tell them, you try smiling at your self for ten hours.

Also, I enjoy the weariness in those eyes. It's a really honest picture, and I found the liquid medium capable of expressing the subtle innuendos, the curlicues of doubt, embedded in my reflection. Totally different from ink, pencil or pastel.

I have previously been intimidated by paint. It seemed beyond me. Now there is a fresh anticipation, perhaps it will be a future ally after all.

Here we go round the prickly pear
 prickly pear prickly pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
At five o'clock in the morning

Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow
                                For Thine is the Kingdom

Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow
                                Life is very long

Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow
                                For Thine is the Kingdom

For Thine is
Life is
For Thine is the

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

 Thank you Thomas Xx
              

I have a passion for printmaking, in particular, silkcut carving. It's a recent development, something I was introduced to early last year in the beginning of my vis arts diploma.
I love the tactile experience of cutting away, and the process spent envisioning potential results. I love the unreliable nature, how I compromise and continually interact with the image.
Each design will spill from itself, a certain personality revealed outside of my intention.

This little lady is Sage. She is the first print for 2012.
It's a more traditional depiction than my usual efforts. No teeth or claws in this one. I like it though, I've always been attracted to botanical illustration and would enjoy practising this style.